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Teenage Mums Article: Keeping the BabyBy: Melissa McGregor
If you decide that you want to keep the baby there are some important things that you should think about, starting with the support you will have from your parents, friends and the father of the baby. Will the father stay around to help you or will he decide that he doesn't want to be involved? What kind of support do you have when it comes to housing and finance? Why do you really want to keep the baby? What about the future of your schooling or job? If the father of the baby decides that he will stay and help you and wants to be involved, it is a good idea to sit down and talk about everything openly. How will you cope financially? Where will you live? etc. Talk about how you can help support each other. Make sure if possible that you both go to your doctors appointments and ultrasounds. If this is not possible for every appointment, talk to your partner about what happened in each appointment. This may help you both through the pregnancy process. If the father of your baby decides that he doesn't want to be involved, you will need to think about how you will cope being a single teenage parent. How much support will you have from your family? Some teenagers may be faced with the situation that the girl wants to keep the baby but the father would rather her have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. This is something you will need to think about and deal with if the situation arises. What kind of support will you have when it comes to housing? Will you continue living with your parents once the baby is born? This may be a good option for most teenage parents-to-be. Maybe your partner could move in with you and your parents or you could move in with your partner and his parents when the baby arrives. Some teenagers may already have their own house with their partner, but some teenage parents-to-be would rather move out and have their own house with their partner. If this is what you decide to do, then you will need to think about how you will cope financially. Most teenagers don't have a lot of money saved up, and some teenagers may not even have an after school job, so how will you cope financially once the baby arrives? Sure you may be eligible for the baby bonus from the government, but even a few thousand dollars won't last long when you need things such as: a cot, pram, nappies, clothes, formula (if you decide to bottle feed) etc. The cost of all these soon add up. You may also be eligible for other financial assistance from the government (eg. Family Tax Benefit Part A or Family Tax Benefit Part B), but it's not a good idea to just rely on that. You will need to think about whether your parents or your partner are able to help you out financially. If you do have an after school job or even a traineeship/apprenticeship, is your employer willing to keep you on while you are pregnant and even after you have had the baby? Even if it's only for a few hours a week, every little bit counts. If you are still at school, will you continue to keep going to school while you are pregnant and will you return once you have had the baby? Is it possible to continue doing you schooling, but from home? Some universities and TAFEs do this, but it may be a good idea to talk to your school principal or local TAFE about this option and any other options that may be available to you. If you are no longer studying and are working, will you continue with your job? Is it possible to cut down your hours a little? You may not be too keen on this idea, but once you progress through your pregnancy, it will probably be recommended that you lessen your hours. Once your baby arrives and you have decided that you would like to go back to work, will your employer take you back again? As with schooling, it is a good idea to sit down and talk to your employer about all your different options. Once you have decided that keeping the baby is definantly the option for you, you will need to have regular check ups with your local general practitioner or hospital and have regular ultrasounds. The best place to start is to visit your GP who will let you know your pregnancy care options. It is also a good idea to ask for advice about your diet, health and what kind of exercise is good for you whilst pregnant. You will probably be given a 'pregnancy diary' by your health provider - this includes dates of your check ups, what was involved in your check up, what tests need to be done, the growth of your baby etc. If you don't receive one of these, it may be a good idea to keep one yourself, just for your records. Also if you think of any questions you have for your health provider before your next appointment, write them down so you don't forget and then take them with you to your appointment. You will need to look after yourself both physically and emotionally. Being pregnant can be a very difficult time in terms of your emotions and you may find that sometimes you can't control them. Don't get too upset about it, it's all a part of being pregnant. Some other things to think about while you are pregnant include: What kind of birth you would like to aim for (eg. natural, water or caesarean section). Some people know straight away that they would like to have a drug-free birth, while others would rather have a caesarean section. This is another topic that is good to talk through with your health provider. Antenatal classes - these will help you decide what kind of birth you would like to aim for and will get you connected with other people that will be having babies in your area around the same time as you. They may not be the same age as you, but they are still there to support you. Remember they are going through the same experience as you. What things you will need to buy to be ready for the baby, eg. clothes, pram, cot, child restraint etc. You don't necessarily have to buy the first thing you see, it is a good idea to look around. If money is an issue, go to your local family planning centre as they may know of people that have baby items for sale. Another way to spread the cost is to use layby when you see things on sale. Don't forget, you are pregnant, it doesn't mean that you can't keep doing the normal everyday things you used to do, but you will need to slow down and take care of yourself and your precious baby. Author: My name's Melissa McGregor, I am 22 years old and a mother of twin girls. I had my girls when I was 19. |
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There are three options when you find out you are pregnant: