Tell your Parents and Friends that You are Pregnant
By: Melissa McGregor
I don’t know what is scarier - finding out you are pregnant or working
out how to tell your parents. You can just imagine what your parents
are going to say when you tell them. Most of the time your imagination
on what they are going to say is worse than what actually happens. Some
teenagers may have a close relationship with their parents and have
no worries or hesitations about telling their parents, but others may
have the complete opposite.
Some ideas on how to tell your parents include:
Tell your parents and your partners parents at the
same time. That way you only have to say it once and they may support
each other. You and your partner can also support and help each other
to explain and talk through what decisions you have made.
Tell your parents you have something you would like
to discuss with them and arrange a time that suits them when they aren’t
busy. That way you know that you will have their full attention.
Sit down and talk calmly to your parents. Sure, they
may be disappointed and a bit upset at first and may not want to talk
about it. If that’s what they want to do, respect their decision. There
is no point trying to push them into talking to you, as it will just
make the situation even more uncomfortable. Let them get used to the
idea and then talk to them calmly.
If you are totally freaked out about telling your
parents and can’t work out how you are going to tell them, write them
a letter. It may seem like the coward’s way out of telling them, but
this way you can explain exactly how you feel with out having them get
angry. Include in the letter that you would like to sit down and talk
to them about this and that you hope they will support you.
Other teenagers may want to tell a close friend or
even another relative first and then have that person help with telling
the parents.
Some teenagers may have a better relationship with
one parent more than the other. If this is the case, sit down and tell
the parent that you have a better relationship with and then ask them
to help you tell your other parent.
No doubt your parents will have many questions for
you. For example, what about your schooling and post schooling? What
about your job? How do you plan on coping financially? Where are you
going to live once the baby is born? These are some of the topics that
you will need to think about. If you haven’t really thought about them,
be honest and tell your parents that. They may be able to help you with
making decisions and may point out some other things that you will need
to have a serious think about.
If you’ve decided to keep the baby, explain to them
why you are choosing to keep it and that you have looked at all your
options. If you have decided that you are going to have an abortion
or put the baby up for adoption, also explain why you have decided to
do this and ask what they think of your decisions.
Ask your parents to go with you to your next doctors
appointment or ultrasound. This may also help them get used to the idea
that you are pregnant and they will feel as though you are including
them in your pregnancy.
Once your parents are used to the idea, you will
wonder what you were worrying about. Sure your parents might not have
liked the idea at the start, but hopefully they will eventually come
around and support you in what ever decisions you have made.
How to tell your friends that you are pregnant:
Many teenagers will be worried about telling their
friends they are pregnant. What will their friends think? Now they won’t
be "cool" anymore. I think the best way to tell your friends
that you are pregnant is exactly the same way to tell you parents. Sit
down and tell them you need to talk to them about something. Explain
your decisions to them, ask for their support. Tell them that even though
you will have a baby in the not too distant future, it doesn’t mean
that you still don’t want to be friends with them. You can still go
out, even if it is only for a coffee and not out partying, you will
still be able to see them. Plus your friends will get to play aunty
or uncle to your baby.
Most friends will be shocked at first, just the same
as parents, but they will get used to the idea eventually. Many people
told me when I was pregnant, you will find out who your true friends
are, and the ones that walk away and don’t want to know you aren’t
worth it. Boy was this statement true!
Author: My name’s Melissa McGregor, I am 22 years
old and a mother of twin girls. I had my girls when I was 19.
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