Parenting Article: Child Psychology: the development of self-image

By: Linda Pollitt

As children grow and develop, they gradually become conscious of their:

• own name
• place in the family
• own home
• age, and of growing up.

Each child forms a mental image of him or herself and becomes aware that they are unlike anyone else - they begin to form a 'self-image'. They also come to understand that they have:

• physical capabilities and limitations - they may find that they have a talent for sport or they may realise that they are differently-abled to their peers;
• intellectual capabilities and limitations - for example, they will find that they are better in some school subjects than others;
• dependence on others - and to realise that others depend on them;
• a place in their family and wider community - where they 'fit in'.

They will also experience both success and failure, learn how to give and receive love, learn about self-discipline, and learn how to be self reliant and make decisions for themselves.

Much recent research has shown that the most important way in which children develop a self-image is by relating to others. They take important messages from the way others react to them, treat them and value them.

There is much parents can do to promote a positive self-image in their children. Things that encourage general development and a positive self-image:

• talking to children in a way that tells them they are valued - listening and asking questions
• playing with them
• spending time with them - watching television together, cooking, walking, shopping, etc.
• providing toys, objects and experiences that are right for the individual child's level of development
• reading with them
• encouraging each child to practise new skills - dressing themselves, drawing, tying their shoe laces, etc.
• exploring new places together
• giving each child opportunities to play with other children
• giving them opportunities to be creative.

Conditions that may hinder development or create a negative self-image

• lack of opportunities to play, talk or explore the environment
• lack of parental attention
• constant nagging or bullying from other people
• abuse of any kind
• frequent absence from school
• frequent illness or a long-term disability.

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