One Mum's Story: Jacki

As I had only been with my partner for a few months before I found out I was pregnant there were a great deal of things to think about. It was horrible, but in the end I decided to keep my baby. I thought to myself - this baby hasn't done anything wrong, so why should I choose to have an abortion.

Everything was fine. I didn't have any morning sickness or anything, I felt very lucky. I had my 12 week scan and the baby was good and healthy, moving around like a little peanut.

We had decided to find out the sex of the baby at my 18 week scan. That's where it all went wrong. At first the lady told us we were having a little girl then by the end of the ultrasound she said that he was actually a boy. Either way we were both happy to be having a healthy baby.

Then the next day the same lady who did my ultrasound rang to say that they were not 100% sure what the baby was and to come back at 22 weeks. At the 22 week scan we had 4D pictures done of our baby and they told us in fact she was a little girl.

So off we went buying all little girl stuff setting up the nursery. I went to all my usual midwife appointments noting to them that I didn't feel my baby kick. It wasn't until 24 weeks that I felt my baby kick but they reassured me that everything was ok, it was just because she was lying with her feet towards my spine, that's why I wasn't feeling her.

After having a case of the flu and not being able to get into the doctors but not worrying too much as I had a midwife appointment two days later, I wasn't prepared for my life to change forever. My midwife was picking up two heartbeats - mine and the baby's - but they were only one heartbeat difference, mine was 87 and her's was 86. They placed trackers on my stomach and I was told that I was going to have to have a caesarean section that day after having steroids to make her lungs stronger. I was 28 weeks pregnant. They explained to me it wasn't life threatening towards me or the baby but that my baby would have a clogged artery in her heart.

This was shocking. I had done all the right things - eaten healthily, exercised. After transferring me to a better hospital I went for an ultrasound to see that my baby was alright. After waiting and waiting for the results of the ultrasound a specialist came to talk to me and my partner, explaining there was nothing more they could do, that my baby wouldn't live and that I could continue on with the pregnancy until he passed away or to choose to stop the pregnancy and have him born alive and hold him until he passes. We were sent home and told to come back on Monday and we could talk about what choice we had made.

Monday came, the weekend having passed like a blur. We had chosen to end the pregnancy as it wasn't fair on they baby to make her suffer. They gave me an ultrasound Monday morning but our choice had already been made for us - our baby had passed early Monday morning. It was a huge weight lifted off our shoulders knowing we didn't have to watch her take her last breaths.

Tuesday morning at 11 I was induced but didn't have any contractions till 4-4:30 that afternoon. My contractions were 20 minutes long with two minutes in between. I had a choice to have an epidural after having the gas and pethidine. What a Godsend that epidural was. From 4:30pm Tuesday afternoon till 1am Wednesday morning I had dilated 1cm. After countless internals I was finally getting some rest and woke up to find my partner, my mum and his mum had all gone to get something to eat as the doctors had said I was 3cm dilated at 1pm Wednesday afternoon and I was not due to have another inducement till 7pm that night.

At 5:15pm I woke up and felt the urge to do a poo. The midwife said I probably needed to as there was no way I could be ready, but after examining me she said my waters needed to be broken but I could still be hours so she would break them and then go look for my partner and all them. Well as soon as my waters broke I had a huge sense of relaxation come over me, but as soon as it came it was gone again and I felt the need to push. My midwife told me to try and hold on so she could find my partner but I couldn't and 10 minutes after my waters were broken I had delivered my beautiful baby. My partner made it just in time to cut the cord and we were all able to hold my precious baby.

As they checked the sex of the baby she said I was in for a surprise, that she was actually a he. It felt like I had lost two babies - I was grieving for a little girl but he was actually a little boy. After countless photos and many cuddles I felt I was ready to go home on the Friday two days after he was born. I didn't want to keep taking him in and out of the morgue, I felt I didn't want to hurt my little boy.

After a 25 hour labour, my baby was born weighing 968 grams (2 pound 2 oz), 34cm long and had a head circumference of 27cm.

When leaving the hospital the midwife said I was the bravest 17 year old she has ever come across. I have many photos and memories of my baby, he will forever be remembered.

*Editor's Note: Mum Zone offers our sincere condolences to Jacki and her family and thank her for being so brave to share her story with our readers.

If you are a Mum who has a story to tell or you know of one, email your story to admin@mumzone.com.au. If you have a photo feel free to include it in your email.

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