Life Coaching for Mums - Kirsti's Response

Mum Zone's resident Life Coach Kirsti of Spheres of Success is available to answer some of your questions about a variety of life related issues.Topics include feeling down, work-life balance, getting enough sleep, spending enough time with your kids, the direction of your relationship, pursuing your dream job, learning to put yourself first, establishing your own identity and many more.

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Reader's Question

I am a single mum and have heard people saying that I mother my 2 year old daughter too much because I am always watching her. Should I give my girl a bit more space?

Kirsti's Response

Hello,

Thanks for your email. Firstly, from your email it sounds like you are a caring, warm, attentive mother who cares deeply for your 2 year old daughter. Being a single mum is challenging enough without worrying about what is right or wrong. As mums, I am sure we second guess ourselves on an ongoing basis about what is best for our kids. As you know, there is no rule book that governs the way we raise our children. For some mums, it comes more easily than others - however even then, there is no right or wrong. Its whatever works best for you and most importantly, the development of your daughter on an emotional, physical and spiritual level.

In terms of giving your daughter more space, I have devised some questions which you may find useful. You may find by answering the questions in a journal you will be able to see what is really going on for you and thus make positive changes if need be. The first thing that comes into your mind is the right answer, don't second guess yourself. You don't need to share your answers with anyone else, so please give yourself permission to write freely and openly.

• Is this current strategy of 'watching your daughter closely' working for you?
• How is this a problem for you now?
• How come you are choosing to listen to people comment on how you are raising your daughter?
• How is this affecting you by choosing to take on board other people's comments and beliefs?
• Do you believe you need to give her more space?
• Do you believe you are a great mum?
• What are you afraid of?
• What's your biggest fear about being a mum?
• What's your biggest fear with your little girl?
• By watching your daughter so closely, what is this giving you? eg a sense of control, security, safety...
• On the flip side, what are you missing out on by watching her so closely?
• How would you like this situation to be?
• What would you like to let go of right now and embrace uncertainty?

It's great to take new insights on board, consider and apply them if it works well for you. However, I am a big believer in trusting your intuition and knowing what is right for you and your daughter. Your opinion and beliefs around raising your daughter are what truly matters. In the end, you know what is best.

If you would like to speak to me personally, I would be more than happy to offer you a free coaching session over the phone. I am also running workshops in Sydney with a leading Aussie fashion designer on the 8 November for mums and women of all ages. 'Real Bodies, Real Life' campaign. For more information please contact Kirsti on 02 8521 9433 or visit www.spheresofsuccess.com.au.

View more Life Coaching for Mums Questions and Responses.

The opinions expressed on this page are of a general nature and are by no means a substitute for professional advice. Therefore neither Mum Zone or Kirsti Boothroyd of Spheres of Success are liable for any actions pertaining to the use of the supplied information.