Life Coaching for Mums - Kirsti's Response

Mum Zone's resident Life Coach Kirsti of Spheres of Success is available to answer some of your questions about a variety of life related issues.Topics include feeling down, work-life balance, getting enough sleep, spending enough time with your kids, the direction of your relationship, pursuing your dream job, learning to put yourself first, establishing your own identity and many more.

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Reader's Question

Hi Kirsti,

Since having my son Mitchell (now 1) I have slowly but surely lost who I am! I am wanting very much to get some of the vivacious and outgoing person I was before, but find it so hard to know where to begin. I am not suffering from PND or anything like that... I just feel like a big chunk of me has gone...

Kirsti's Response

Hi,

Thanks for your email. Having a baby is a life changing event and this can impact differently for different women. It's important for you to recognise that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. As a Coach, my job is to ask you some really skilled questions to assist you to create some wonderful changes in your life.

I have devised some questions below so it may be a good idea to grab a pen and paper and answer some questions about how you would like this situation to be.

As mums, we can tend to focus on what is not going so well in our life, what we don't want, what our fears and worries are for our children, what we are lacking financially or emotionally. On the flip side, very few of my clients can tell me what they want to attract in terms of dream job, relationship, friendships or financial wealth. It all comes down to our attitude, beliefs, mindset and our thoughts. Change your thoughts, change your life. You may also like to start your own journal by creating a "visualisation" book, where you really focus on your dreams or what you are passionate about.

Tip: You may want to start by answering some questions below. Write the first thing that comes to your mind. Your unconscious mind has all the answers you need. You may be surprised to learn what comes out from these questions.

• What are you happy about in your life right now? What else? (keep writing until you have exhausted everything you are happy about)
• What are you excited about in your life right now?
• What are you proud of in your life right now?
• What are you grateful for in your life right now?
• What are you enjoying in your life right now?
• Who do you love in your life right now?
• If you could change one aspect of your life, what would that be?
• What does your ideal life look like? What would you be doing if you could have anything you dreamed of?
• What do you need to do to have fun along the way?
• What do you need to do to enjoy the journey guilt free?

And finally...

• How would you like the situation to be? How can you turn this around?

As mums we tend to put ourselves last. We may focus on the needs of those closest to us. It's imperative for your soul to start nurturing yourself. A small step in the right direction may be as small as setting aside an hour a week for a massage, or having regular coffee with some girlfriends, booking into a course or just having some time to yourself.

As you mentioned, you feel like a "big chunk" of you may be missing at present - this may be because you have not set any "heart" goals for yourself. You need something to look forward to. Find out what made you really outgoing prior to having your son and make a conscious choice to bring that part of you back.

When you feel great about yourself, this has a ripple effect in all other areas of your life. Your son will benefit from you being authentic and true to yourself by finding some balance to suit your lifestyle. I truly believe that a happy mum equals a happy family.

If you would like to contact me directly to get you moving forward and to assist you to design your dream life please call me on 02 8521 9433 to book in for a free coaching session.

View more Life Coaching for Mums Questions and Responses.

The opinions expressed on this page are of a general nature and are by no means a substitute for professional advice. Therefore neither Mum Zone or Kirsti Boothroyd of Spheres of Success are liable for any actions pertaining to the use of the supplied information.