Guidance on Your Child's Behaviour and Child Care - Ruth's Response

Mum Zone's resident Child Behavioural and Child Care Expert Ruth, author of Choosing Child Care, is available to answer some of your questions.

Topics include: Guiding children's behaviour, setting developmentally appropriate limits / rules, holistic parenting, children's spiritual growth, establishing routines, activity ideas, setting up the home environment to help support routines and limits, strategies for dealing with sibling rivalry / establishing positive relationships, choosing a child care centre that meets your child's and family's needs, settling children into care outside of the home, being involved in your child's day when they attend care.

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Reader's Question

We are about to move house and we have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I would love any advice you have on how to make the transition as smooth as possible for all concerned, especially as we are going to a new area and will be starting at a new child care centre etc. My 3 year old is reasonably adaptable but does sometimes "lean" a bit on her "imaginary friend" in difficult social situations and my 14 month old has become even more clingy than normal since starting child care about a month ago. Thanks.

Ruth's Response

Hello

How wonderful that your 3 year old has an imaginary friend! I would say this will actually help her process the move more easily as she is more likely to verbalise any concerns with her 'friend' and that's good - you could even acknowledge her friend by asking if she has told her friend yet about the move. I was watching a programme funnily enough the other night on research conducted with children that had imaginary friends and the positive influence it appears to have on (mostly social) development.

Moving house can be stressful for children (not to mention parents!). Here are a few suggestions that have worked well with Ethan and Paige and all our moves over the years.

• If you are able perhaps give the children a couple of weeks (or week) to settle into the new house prior to starting at the new childcare - this could also be a good opportunity to visit a few times with them at the centre. It may be a little harder on your youngest as this can be a clingy age but the carers will be experienced with this and should keep you well informed as to how they are both settling in. I would let the Centre know if they are not aware that you have moved house (not just centres). I liked to also ensure that the centre new I would prefer they rang and let me know if they had not settled after a certain time frame - and I have rung centres to ensure they have settled OK if I left them upset, so don't hesitate to ring during the day and check how things are going. Overall visiting the centre prior, having shorter days to begin with whilst you are settling in is usually the most effective (although I know not always possible) .
  
  
• On the moving front I usually have 1 box clearly marked with special toys of the children's and their sheets / pillows ready to go for the first night. I also give them a back pack to pack any special toys and then I add a couple of surprises and give it to them when we set off (this works well if you have a long travel to your new place) .
  
  
• Talk to them about the move in positive terms - simple things such as our house has a yard with two big trees - a park we can walk to... reassure that everything in your house will be going with them - "What an adventure some of your toys will have going on a big truck to our new house". Paige surprised me when we were moving from Hawaii - packers had been in the house for a couple of days and when on the second day they started to actually move the boxes onto the truck she rushed over to me concerned "Mummy there taking the boxes and putting them in their truck" so talking about moving day and what to expect can help as it must be confusing for them.
  
  
• If your 3 year old has questions keep the answer simple this usually is enough to satisfy but not confuse - again Paige kept asking me what and where Australia was (over a few weeks). After a few attempts of trying to explain she eventually asked if Australia was in the clouds, I responded with "you fly through the clouds to get there" she happily accepted this and didn't ask again - it was a reminder to me to keep answers simple rather than too factual at this age.
  
  
• Probably the most helpful thing that I find with children when moving is keeping the routine as calm and normal (as possible) leading up to and during the move. Such as story times, meal times and sleep times particularly.

Hope this helps and best of luck with the move.

Regards,

Ruth

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The opinions expressed on these pages are of a general nature and are by no means a substitute for professional advice. Therefore neither Mum Zone or Ruth Powell of Choosing Child Care are liable for any actions pertaining to the use of the supplied information.