Guidance on Your Child's Behaviour and Child Care - Ruth's Response

Mum Zone's resident Child Behavioural and Child Care Expert Ruth, author of Choosing Child Care, is available to answer some of your questions.

Topics include: Guiding children's behaviour, setting developmentally appropriate limits / rules, holistic parenting, children's spiritual growth, establishing routines, activity ideas, setting up the home environment to help support routines and limits, strategies for dealing with sibling rivalry / establishing positive relationships, choosing a child care centre that meets your child's and family's needs, settling children into care outside of the home, being involved in your child's day when they attend care.

Check out our Child Behavioural and Child Care page or read another question now!

Reader's Question

I have a 17 month old son, his language and communication development is good, is very affectionate, playful and social towards family members and people that he is familiar with but I am a little concerned about his social behaviour in certain situations, often at play centres or in our mothers group he becomes very unsettled and easily upset around other children and seems to cause him distress, this has always been the case since he was little and only seems to be when he is out of his own environment, today I took him to a play centre and he was more interested in playing with his pram then interacting in the group.

My husband keeps reminding me that he is only 17 months old, am I being a little paranoid?

Ruth's Response

Hello

I don't think you're paranoid at all! It is great that you are in tune with your son and can see that places such as play centres can be distressing to him at the moment.

At 17 months (and older) it is normal for some children to feel hesitant when it comes to different social situations. New people, environment and active children all around can be a lot to process. Many young children (my son included) are more sensitive to busy environments. His good communication skills and being comfortable with family support that he is beginning to develop these skills it just takes longer to transfer this to all situations.

Avoiding places like large play centres for 6-12 months (or even longer) may make all the difference. An alternative could perhaps be going to a quiet local park or have a friend come around to visit. At 17 months children are not developmentally ready to truly 'play' with other children but rather play along side each other or learn through watching. With Mothers' group I would suggest just letting him stay close to you if that's what he prefers. This would create a nice balance for him (encouraging that play time in more comfortable surrounds) and of course you - as I know I personally went to mothers groups more for me than the children! as it is important to have this social network and support.

The best thing you can do for a child who is a little hesitant in some social situations is gentle support and guide but ultimately allow the child to slowly move through this normal development at there own pace. Allowing children just to 'be' and explore and socialise at their own pace will lay a strong foundation for future socialising. I hope this helps.

Regards,

Ruth

View more Guidance on Your Child's Behaviour and Child Care Questions and Responses.

The opinions expressed on these pages are of a general nature and are by no means a substitute for professional advice. Therefore neither Mum Zone or Ruth Powell of Choosing Child Care are liable for any actions pertaining to the use of the supplied information.