Breastfeeding Article:

Weaning Your Breastfed Toddler

By Lorraine Cuadro

Lorraine Cuadro and her sons. Lorraine regularly writes articles for Mum Zone readers about various breastfeeding issues and aspects.

Lately I've been getting lots of emails from mums wanting to know how to wean their toddler off breastfeeding. It can be a tough one, especially if they aren't quite ready to give it up. Thankfully, there are lots of ideas and gentle techniques that you can try before it becomes a heartbreaking experience for you.

A safe and comfortable starting point is the feed that your toddler is least interested in; the feed that they would be happy to miss if you were out for the day or busy finger painting. If you can consistently drop this feed for a week, by being out and about or by becoming a master of distraction, you'll have at least started the weaning process. The idea then, is to keep dropping a feed until you're not feeding anymore.

For the feeds that aren't so easy to drop you can try to:

• Offer only one breast per feed, find an excuse or an activity to do instead of offering the second breast;
• limit their time at the breast so that they gradually lose interest in it;
• count the number of sucks with your toddler and challenge them to get it down to say 15, and then 10 and so on;
• prepare some fun, favourite snacks or offer a drink out of a new and exciting cup;
• replace the missed feeds with lots of cuddles, or tickles, anything that will keep you and your toddler physically close so that you still have that special time together;
• wear different clothes that make feeding more difficult (now might be a good time to put on a few skivvies or thermals and don't forget to tuck them into some tight stockings!!)

Often, the feeds that are the hardest to drop are the ones before bed time. Especially if your little one is feeding to sleep, which by the way, is a perfectly natural and normal thing to do, so please don't let anyone make you feel guilty about being in this situation.

The obvious ideas here are changing the bed time routine so it becomes bath-book- bed, or offering a special soft toy or a song to fall asleep to. But what if you already have a good routine that you don't want to change? Well, if that's the case you can try reducing the bed time feed by 1 minute each week over a few weeks until they get down to a few seconds.

Often, talking to your child about it being time to slowly stop breastfeeding, using lots of praise when they skip a feed and commenting on how grown up they are, can help them understand and accept what is going on.

Try and be aware of how you are feeling during feeds. It's perfectly natural to feel resentful, even angry, when you're in a hurry to wean and your little one doesn't want to play. But often toddlers will pick up on the tension and need more security, more comfort and more breastfeeds as a result, to the point where it becomes a vicious cycle.

If you're spiralling down this path, it can help to have a look at which feeds annoy you the most and come up with ways of avoiding those feeds or changing something about them. Sometimes feeding in a different room or with music can help to relieve the tension.

Every child is different and things that work on some days may not work on others. I know how frustrating that can be, but it's a huge change for your little one and they are letting go of something that fulfils them on a number of levels. You may need to be prepared to give them time and congratulate yourself for doing such a great job on getting to this point.

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