Baby Sleep Help - Natalie's Response

Mum Zone's resident Sleep Expert Natalie of Sleep and Settle is available to answer some of your questions about settling your baby and more.

Topics include: Sleeping and settling, moving from bassinette to cot, cot to bed, breastfeeding/formula, solids, floorplay for babies and play for toddlers/children, wrapping/sleeping bags/dressing baby, behaviour/tantrums, what's normal? bedroom environments, music, lights, entertainment, mattresses, mattress protectors, sheets, unsettled babies and the 0-12 week afternoon arsenic hours, reflux/colic, teething, worms, toilet training, night terrors/nightmares, the older child issues 5-10 years and single parenting/separation/divorce.

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Reader's Question

I have a 13 month old son and I am having an enourmous amount of trouble getting him settled through the night. About 2 months ago he developed a cough and still has it, now mainly at night. He doesn't go to bed until me and my partner do and he has to sleep in between us. He often wakes up crying and it takes a lot to get him back to sleep, he often does this about 5 or 6 times a night. My partner works and gets really annoyed when he wakes up at all hours of the night, we start fighting and he leaves to sleep on the couch. It is putting a huge strain on our relationship as we never have any time together. I try to put him in his cot but he just won't take it at all, he will cry so much that he starts to hyperventalate and then starts coughing and makes himself sick and the only way to settle him is to put him back in our bed. I need help please - how can I get him in a sleep routine and back in his bed? Even during the day he won't sleep unless it's on the lounge next to me while I watch TV. I'm desperate. Help save my relationship.

Natalie's Response

Hi,

I appreciate that you are feeling very tired and frustrated and looking for an answer. I have some general suggestions for you without further history.

Consider the following:

• If your son has had a cough for 2 months, especially in the cold night air I would be seeking further medical advice and looking for the trigger. Some coughs are viral, some are due to a runny nose running down the back of the throat, some are allergies, some are asthma type coughs. Even if your son doesn't have asthma some coughs respond well to medication via a puffer and can be used on a short term basis. Please see your Gp for a diagnosis and advice.
  
  
• You mention that your 13 months old baby doesn't go to bed until you do and will only sleep on the lounge in front of the TV. Who decided those rules? As the parent you can guide your son's behaviour and show him a new way to help you create new positive sleeping habits. As the parents we create the habits in our children, the good ones and the bad ones. You can turn this around and re-create good sleeping habits usually within 3-7 days. It is your consistency and persistency that creates the habits, not the child.
  
  
• When your son is not sick and you would like a gentle sleep strategy please go to www.sleepandsettle.com.au. Once you find a strategy that you are comfortable with it is vital that you be consistent and persistent in order for your son to believe you and learn new sleep habits. Changing possibly 13 months of sleep habits is a process and will not happen overnight. The speed of the positive changes depends on your consistency and persistency in sticking with the routine.
  
  
• If you wish to be with your child initially until you decide on a sleep strategy, I suggest that you sleep in your child's bedroom on a mattress on the floor, not bring him into your bedroom. This may help your partner sleep and remove some conflict for you.
  
  
• I suggest not putting a new strategy in place until you have identified the reason for the cough and your son is well again. Then, if you know your son's sleeping issues are behavioural and not medical you will feel more comfortable about being consistent with your routine.
  
  
• As always I suggest healthy meals in the day time with no junk food, water as the drink of choice, no tv in the morning before the day sleep, active play outdoors if needed in the afternoon as well and bedtime at 7pm.
  

Happy Sleeping,
Natalie

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The opinions expressed on these pages are of a general nature and are by no means a substitute for professional advice. Therefore neither Mum Zone or Natalie Ebrill of Sleep and Settle are liable for any actions pertaining to the use of the supplied information.